Getting to know you.

When you are getting to know someone there are many methods by which to go about it. I was thinking recently that it is so intimate to share home videos or childhood photos with a new person in your life, whether they are of romantic or platonic interest. Showing someone photos/videos of your past is like trying to tell them who you are as a whole. There are things that can't be explained with words. Surely the above handsome little.. girl could not be explained with just words. It's risking the judgement or feeling safe enough with someone that you are comfortable revealing your whole self to them. Videos, particularly. "No, my face isn't crooked, it's just that my mom cut my bangs," or "yes, I've always had climber's legs." It's a relief to get to this step. Here I am, all of me, take it or leave it cuz it's all I've got.

meow, 

jayteewo.

Walking in the Air.

I am sorry to tell you we cannot be friends if you are not obsessed with 1982's animated, silent, but with a brief intro by David Bowie, film, The Snowman. I just realized that would really limit my companions so I may have to reconsider. Seriously, though, it is so weird and haunting and whimsical. Driven almost entirely by its score; visually it is quite dumbed down (Raymond Briggs both wrote and animated). It does such a good job, at least for me, at drawing the audience in and making you emotionally involved in the story. And the song, "Walking in the Air," is beautiful and a little (lot) creepy.. I'm sure you'll love it, though.


watch here.
buy here. 
read here.

Pierre says you'll be into it.

best,
jayteewo.

Things.

1. A straw is a lazy's man's drinking tool. How lazy must you be?

2. Baby talk is so annoying unless you're the one doing it. Then it's totally cool.

3. All normal processes in life take me about ten times longer.

4. Who do you call if you win the lottery?

5. If a person's eyes changed color, they'd look totally different.

6. Good things come in threes.


sincerely,
jayteewo.

6 Questions.

1. Who are these people who watch (I hardly want to credit it on my blog) 'Dancing with the Stars'? It looks like the stupidest show ever. I don't want to watch a professional dancer drag fat he-shes across a dance floor and then have theatrical heads say shit I don't care about.

2. Why don't miniature cats exist if miniature dogs do? This is just science, guys.

3. Do you ever really know a person?

4. Why do we have to work 8 (technically like 10 if we include commute and time for lunch that I have to spend away from home, not to mention getting ready) hours a day? Seems like a really large portion of our lives.

5. Like, I get how babies are made but, how are babies made?

6. How does a beard know not to take over your whole face?


best wishes,
jayteewo.

I don't miss you.

Disclaimer: Don't read this if you're not caught up on LOST (where the hell have you been?), Dexter or Entourage.

Here is a light critique of some terrible actresses/TV characters I'm happy got written off and one actor/character I wish would. I hated looking for visual aids to go along with the text and I passive-aggressively made the pictures as small as I could, just so you know. I'm uncertain if it's the actors or the characters I despise more. Who cares? I don't miss them.

I'm glad you're gone:

Shannon (Maggie Grace) from LOST (remember Boone?). After you've seen the photo above I shouldn't have to tell you why I'm glad she's gone. Idiot. I love LOST but they really missed the mark on this one. Thank goodness she got written off early. She was so dramatic and not in a believable way. Always whining and being pathetic. How do people like her get jobs? Awful. Was that her best? It wasn't very good. All I have to say is, Sayid, you're better off so stop crying about it. You really love that other chick anyway.

Rita (Julie Benz) from Dexter. Her character is so freakin' dense and Benz is a terrible actress. Or maybe she just plays this part terribly, but I suspect that's being generous. Don't tell me if her stupid ass comes back in season 5 because I have to wait until Tuesday to get the discs from Netflix to find out. God, I hope not. Sure I'm worried about Dexter's future, but I actually squealed out of delight when he found her in the bathtub. Sorry :-/

Ashley (Alexis Dziena) from season 6 of Entourage. She was the chick who was doing Eric. In Broken Flowers she was the crazy naked daughter (aptly named Lolita). Oh. My. Gosh. She is unbearable. Her mouth alone kills me. She is a horrible actress, all fluffy and bouncing around like a moron. It's like she's on pills all the time. I swear I could step on set and blow her performance out of the water. I'm not saying I'm a great actress because nothing could be further from the truth or my aspirations. The point I'm trying to hammer into your head is that she's God awful. Maybe I'm mean but I don't give a shit. She's so annoying and I can't believe Eric didn't realize she was a psycho from the get go. Not worth the lay, dude. What a dumb ass.

I wish you were gone:

Peter Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) from Mad Men. Why is he still on the show? Please move off of Manhattan or get shit-canned or something! He's so irritating. Maybe Kartheiser is accomplishing what he's supposed to as an actor but I don't care. Don, you know he knows too much. Fire him or better yet, kill him! You know it's the path you're on. Roger would probably help or at least cover for you now that you're kinda friends again! I'd tune into that episode. Peter's smug little mannerisms and nasally voice are enough to make me scream every time he's in a scene. His treatment of Peggy is so selfish and don't get me started on his wife, Trudy. They deserve each other. I don't need to mention her though, because if he goes, she goes. She's dumb enough to follow him to the ends of the earth. What a catch.

Thus concludes my light critique. These are things you should know. Anyone in the right mind would agree with me. I'll chill out with the negativity now. Next I'll tell you about characters I actually do like. But that's another day.


♥
jayteewo.

5 things I do in an interview.

1. My signature handshake: the first handshake with my interviewer, he/she extends his/her hand and I, first, with one, shaky movement raise my right hand to brush my hair out of my face and, second, bestow that same shaky hand to my colleague, as they look on, perplexed.

2. Commit to more than I'm prepared to deliver on: "Sooo.. you have managed projects like this before?" -"Oh yah, totally."

3. Not ask the questions I really want to ask.

4. Sweat: obvious. BIG problem.

5. Feel positive about the way it went, then feel nervous that I'm too confident and start feeling negative, and finally come out of the negativity and into a not quite positive but not quite negative state of reflection.


love,
jayteewo.

Things.

Just because you're a dude doesn't mean you don't have to tend to your feet.
Feet in general are pretty gross.
The only people whose feet don't gross me out are those of my two sisters.
I recently switched all of my underwear and pajama-wear to all black everything.
There are two kinds of faces: one kind that looks better from the side and one that looks better head-on.
I have a head-on face.
At the age of 25 I bought my first pair of short shorts and permitted a little young tummy to peak out every now and then.
The only tweezers that work are the Tweezerman Slant.
My eyes are black.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I don't lotion my legs enough.
Gross.
Shaving is a pain in the ass.
First chance I get, I'm goin laser.
I never let anyone go near my eyebrows.
I'm an eyebrow snob.
Coconut in ice cream is worthless if it's not toasted.
As far as eyelashes go, it's more about the curl than the length.
The only eyelash curler worth having is by Shu Umera.
I think I think Joaquin Phoenix is attractive.
I need a facial once a month.
Most estheticians are pussies.
Lately, I don't feel like drinking at all.
Well, unless it's champagne.
Thank God no one can see me when I'm home alone.
I wish I were a badass like my little sister.
She takes cool photos (see above 3).


truly,
jayteewo.

Maple syrup.

I am a self-proclaimed maple syrup snob and proud of it. And I'm not the only one: there are literally dozens of us. Maple syrup is a wonderful, delicious treasure that should be cherished. I will judge you if you aren't one to insist upon legit syrup. There's nothing that annoys me more than if I'm at a restaurant and order "real maple syrup" and I get Mrs. Butterworth's. You can bet your sweet ass I'll be sending that shit right back and making a scene. It's like if I order fresh-squeezed orange juice and receive what is clearly Tropicana. I will notice. There is a HUGE difference in taste between the authentic stuff and the fake stuff. I shouldn't have to ask if it is what it says it is.

Being of Michigander descent, I know where to get the good shit. Particularly if there is some independent farm out in the boonies (see Sugarbush), you can find fantastic maple syrup deliciousness just about anywhere up north. Throw in some Amish butter while you're at it. The Canadians aren't bad at makin maple syrup either. I've never turned my nose up at a Canadian syrup. Not once. And they do sell it at Publix or whatever grocery store you shop at, so there's really no excuse. It just costs a little more. Worth. every. penny.

I'm serious.

jayteewo.

I'm saying this.

Listen, I do it too from time to time. I won't lie to you. But I am having a MAJOR problem with this situation that seems to be more and more common in everyday life: I'm hanging out with you, just the two of us, and you are on your phone. WHAT are you doing, may I ask? Why don't you invite the person/people you're talking to on the phone or just go be with them instead. If we aren't going to talk and engage each other, then why the hell did I waste my time getting dressed to come out and see your ass? If we are hanging out and you've given me no other reason to believe that you don't want to be here, then BE here. If you need to do something quick on your phone, by all means, do it. But get in and get out. It's polite.


onward & upward,
jayteewo.

I'm totally not embarrassed to tell you this.

I think there are several fantastic jams on Britney Spears' new album, "Femme Fatale." Favorites: Till the World Ends, How I Roll, Big Fat Bass. Maybe homegirl is getting her shit together.


god speed,
jayteewo.