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Thursday, December 22, 2011

At least you have your health.

What if you, someone who went to all the right schools, hustled and got all the right internships, learned a foreign language, and is like, totally charming got fired suddenly and unjustly? You are the kind of person who never dreamed that in a thousand million years you'd get fired. What could a person like you do to be in such a position? You're not a hoodlum! With not even a blowout or a big scene to regale your friends with.. just like, "hey, how about you bounce? We don't really like you."

PROS The upside is that if this were to happen, one could subsequently use it as an excuse for all things carefree (and care-less): "It's the holidays and I just got shit-canned." That excuse could be used when justifying (this morning) whether it is okay to eat your sister's birthday cake for breakfast (why, yes it is), when your dad asks why his phone calls went unanswered for about 24 hours (do not tell him you were ripped, though both true and understandable), or if you would like to make about 40 ill-advised online purchases (back to what you're good at).

REASSURANCE Don't be sad, ya poor bastard ('poor' is meant here to incite panic, you poor sonofabitch, because your paycheck is now nonexistent). You are NOT a failure (unless you are, I don't know your circumstances- but feel free to sob in the fetal position on your living room floor. I do know you don't deal well with rejection). I'm sure it just wasn't a good fit, buddy! You'll fit in somewhere waaay better.

MOVING ON There are all sorts of things you wanted to do before that thankless, poverty-inducing job came around that you reluctantly settled for. You had BIG plans. (you needed that job actually so really the plan was to get. a. job.) Those plans remain in the infancy stage in piles around your apartment, only to serve as little towers for your cat to survey his domain from. (Shit! You just remembered you have a cat that is on a strict, expensive holistic diet). Go out and make some changes, especially big life changes that stress you the hell out. New is (can be) nice: new places, new, better job, new sheets, new, hot dentist (this can get awkward), new friends (not so much here), new FOOD. Move somewhere closer to your family- do consider if you like them enough, as they will be close enough for a drop by. Maybe you should get a Master's degree or really fuck with people and become a Dermatologist or something. Screw it, you're young, right?.. um, right? Too bad you're not that dedicated. Correction: you haven't been that dedicated in the past, but now could be the perfect time to step up your game (translation: it is). Assuming everyone has one, find your purpose. Hell, you've got the time! Wouldn't it simplify everything if each person knew their purpose and was actively fulfilling it?

SO THERE They undervalued you anyway and you never fit in. You hated the schedule and the people. There was no room in the damn fridge to put your sack lunch and they wouldn't even let you bring your cat to work! Rude! Indeed you are simply stunning, hilarious, educated, interesting and a very snappy dresser, but sometimes people don't like that. We call those people assholes and they can suck it. 

best regards,
Aspiring Lottery Winner

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Walking in the Air.

I am sorry to tell you we cannot be friends if you are not obsessed with 1982's animated, silent, but with a brief intro by David Bowie, film, The Snowman. I just realized that would really limit my companions so I may have to reconsider. Seriously, though, it is so weird and haunting and whimsical. Driven almost entirely by its score; visually it is quite dumbed down (Raymond Briggs both wrote and animated). It does such a good job, at least for me, at drawing the audience in and making you emotionally involved in the story. And the song, "Walking in the Air," is beautiful and a little (lot) creepy.. I'm sure you'll love it, though.

watch here.
buy here
read here.


Saturday, December 17, 2011

Happy Holidays.

MAC eyeshadows: Humid & Sumptuous Olive
I'm not really in the Christmas spirit yet. Actually, the "Christmas spirit" is a humongoucliché. Who really gives a shit? I really only think it's nice because I get to be around my family.. which I do actually look forward to. Other than that I don't hate a good meal and I do like to sing the Mariah Carey Christmas album at the top of my lungs (I sound exactly like her). So basically I like the holidays but I'm not one for the anticipation.
top knot of friend
I went with uniform wrapping this year: brown craft wrapping paper, 3/4" glittery red ribbon and the occasional gold-striped Japanese washi tape detail. I think it's beautiful and simple. I just want to look at the mountain of presents forever. Pretty! I like to challenge myself sometimes when I wrap: i.e. wrap from a weird angle, combine scrap pieces of wrapping paper and put them together to wrap a single gift, using the same concept for ribbon, etc. And ya know how you buy Christmas cards every year and always have a few left over each time? What the hell are you supposed to do with a single holiday card on it's own? This year the VERY few people who are getting cards from me will be getting a mixed bag. No one really cares what they look like anyway, it's more a confirmation that someone considers you in their "I care" category.
If I understood CNN Español correctly yesterday, the average American spends 60% more than they can afford on Christmas shit. I think I spend less each year. I just wanna eat, man.
G-free pasta. pine nuts. olives. garlic. parm. espinacas. tomatoes.


Monday, December 5, 2011

Movie: Now Voyager.

This movie is very multi-faceted and it covers a lot of time and transitions. It's based on the novel by Olive Higgins Prouty (loving the name Olive) who took her title from Walt Whitman's "The Untold Want" in Songs of Parting: "The Untold Want, By Life and Land Ne'er Granted,/Now, Voyager, Sail Thou Forth, to Seek and Find." 

It's about an ugly duckling, a manipulative parent and letting yourself be a doormat even though you know you're better than that. Charlotte Vale (Bette Davis) is the underdog in the family with zero social skills. Turns out she's also either having a nervous breakdown or just totally off her rocker in general. It takes the interest of a particular doctor to help her through her issues. As usual with Davis' films, it's great. Also per usual, Bette gets mouthy towards the end which, as you know, I love.

When Jeri (Paul Henreid) lights two cigarettes in his mouth and hands one to Charlotte.. Uhhhh. Hot. From IMDB: Henreid's "act of lighting two cigarettes at once caught the public's imagination and he couldn't go anywhere without being accosted by women begging him to light cigarettes for them." Not sure I'd want Henreid to do it, but I'm open to other applicants, surely.