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Thursday, December 22, 2011

At least you have your health.


What if you, someone who went to all the right schools, hustled and got all the right internships, learned a foreign language, and is like, totally charming got fired suddenly and unjustly? You are the kind of person who never dreamed that in a thousand million years you'd get fired. What could a person like you do to be in such a position? You're not a hoodlum! With not even a blowout or a big scene to regale your friends with.. just like, "hey, how about you bounce? We don't really like you."

PROS The upside is that if this were to happen, one could subsequently use it as an excuse for all things carefree (and care-less): "It's the holidays and I just got shit-canned." That excuse could be used when justifying (this morning) whether it is okay to eat your sister's birthday cake for breakfast (why, yes it is), when your dad asks why his phone calls went unanswered for about 24 hours (do not tell him you were ripped, though both true and understandable), or if you would like to make about 40 ill-advised online purchases (back to what you're good at).

REASSURANCE Don't be sad, ya poor bastard ('poor' is meant here to incite panic, you poor sonofabitch, because your paycheck is now nonexistent). You are NOT a failure (unless you are, I don't know your circumstances- but feel free to sob in the fetal position on your living room floor. I do know you don't deal well with rejection). I'm sure it just wasn't a good fit, buddy! You'll fit in somewhere waaay better.

MOVING ON There are all sorts of things you wanted to do before that thankless, poverty-inducing job came around that you reluctantly settled for. You had BIG plans. (you needed that job actually so really the plan was to get. a. job.) Those plans remain in the infancy stage in piles around your apartment, only to serve as little towers for your cat to survey his domain from. (Shit! You just remembered you have a cat that is on a strict, expensive holistic diet). Go out and make some changes, especially big life changes that stress you the hell out. New is (can be) nice: new places, new, better job, new sheets, new, hot dentist (this can get awkward), new friends (not so much here), new FOOD. Move somewhere closer to your family- do consider if you like them enough, as they will be close enough for a drop by. Maybe you should get a Master's degree or really fuck with people and become a Dermatologist or something. Screw it, you're young, right?.. um, right? Too bad you're not that dedicated. Correction: you haven't been that dedicated in the past, but now could be the perfect time to step up your game (translation: it is). Assuming everyone has one, find your purpose. Hell, you've got the time! Wouldn't it simplify everything if each person knew their purpose and was actively fulfilling it?

SO THERE They undervalued you anyway and you never fit in. You hated the schedule and the people. There was no room in the damn fridge to put your sack lunch and they wouldn't even let you bring your cat to work! Rude! Indeed you are simply stunning, hilarious, educated, interesting and a very snappy dresser, but sometimes people don't like that. We call those people assholes and they can suck it. 

best regards,
jayteewo
Aspiring Lottery Winner
www.jayteewo.blogspot.com

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Walking in the Air.

I am sorry to tell you we cannot be friends if you are not obsessed with 1982's animated, silent, but with a brief intro by David Bowie, film, The Snowman. I just realized that would really limit my companions so I may have to reconsider. Seriously, though, it is so weird and haunting and whimsical. Driven almost entirely by its score; visually it is quite dumbed down (Raymond Briggs both wrote and animated). It does such a good job, at least for me, at drawing the audience in and making you emotionally involved in the story. And the song, "Walking in the Air," is beautiful and a little (lot) creepy.. I'm sure you'll love it, though.


watch here.
buy here
read here.

best,
jayteewo.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Happy Holidays.

MAC eyeshadows: Humid & Sumptuous Olive
I'm not really in the Christmas spirit yet. Actually, the "Christmas spirit" is a humongoucliché. Who really gives a shit? I really only think it's nice because I get to be around my family.. which I do actually look forward to. Other than that I don't hate a good meal and I do like to sing the Mariah Carey Christmas album at the top of my lungs (I sound exactly like her). So basically I like the holidays but I'm not one for the anticipation.
top knot of friend
I went with uniform wrapping this year: brown craft wrapping paper, 3/4" glittery red ribbon and the occasional gold-striped Japanese washi tape detail. I think it's beautiful and simple. I just want to look at the mountain of presents forever. Pretty! I like to challenge myself sometimes when I wrap: i.e. wrap from a weird angle, combine scrap pieces of wrapping paper and put them together to wrap a single gift, using the same concept for ribbon, etc. And ya know how you buy Christmas cards every year and always have a few left over each time? What the hell are you supposed to do with a single holiday card on it's own? This year the VERY few people who are getting cards from me will be getting a mixed bag. No one really cares what they look like anyway, it's more a confirmation that someone considers you in their "I care" category.
If I understood CNN Español correctly yesterday, the average American spends 60% more than they can afford on Christmas shit. I think I spend less each year. I just wanna eat, man.
G-free pasta. pine nuts. olives. garlic. parm. espinacas. tomatoes.

love,
jayteewo.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Movie: Now Voyager.

This movie is very multi-faceted and it covers a lot of time and transitions. It's based on the novel by Olive Higgins Prouty (loving the name Olive) who took her title from Walt Whitman's "The Untold Want" in Songs of Parting: "The Untold Want, By Life and Land Ne'er Granted,/Now, Voyager, Sail Thou Forth, to Seek and Find." 

It's about an ugly duckling, a manipulative parent and letting yourself be a doormat even though you know you're better than that. Charlotte Vale (Bette Davis) is the underdog in the family with zero social skills. Turns out she's also either having a nervous breakdown or just totally off her rocker in general. It takes the interest of a particular doctor to help her through her issues. As usual with Davis' films, it's great. Also per usual, Bette gets mouthy towards the end which, as you know, I love.

When Jeri (Paul Henreid) lights two cigarettes in his mouth and hands one to Charlotte.. Uhhhh. Hot. From IMDB: Henreid's "act of lighting two cigarettes at once caught the public's imagination and he couldn't go anywhere without being accosted by women begging him to light cigarettes for them." Not sure I'd want Henreid to do it, but I'm open to other applicants, surely. 


:)
jayteewo.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Movie: Sólo Con Tu Pareja.

I finally got around to the Español section of my queue (yes it's alphabetized). Sólo Con Tu Pareja (1991) is a Mexican film that I very much enjoyed. Tomás Tomás (Giménez Cacho) is a man whore publicist who banged Silvia Silva (Dobrina Liubomirova) and did her wrong. Silvia happens to be a nurse who gets her hands on his STD test results and marks "positive" on his AIDS test to scare the shit out of him. Tomás is a little bitch so he decides to off himself rather than face the music and notify all of his conquests. 



Clarissa (Claudia Ramírez), a flight attendant, finds out her fiance is cheating on her and now wants to end it as well. Tomás happens to be in love with Clarissa, however, so the adventure ensues. It's really artistic and stylized and its beautiful, instrumental score really impacted the film and gave it special personality. The film is laced with lovely, relevant quotes plus, there's a sexual tension theme where Tomás is like, always on.  


"For those sick of life, love is the cure."


sincerely,
jayteewo.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

3 fabulous holiday eblasts.

One thing I do at my new job is track/analyze eblasts (and frequently use terms like "eblast") from various companies. It's weird because I'm usually doing everything I can to not receive eblasts and now I'm chasing after them. Whatever. Anyway I do occasionally stumble upon an interesting one. Here are three goodies from November. 


The first is from the geniuses at Anthropologie. There are links to each product with a little ditty and you can send each one as an e-card, too. Cuteness.
      Date: November 10, 2011
      Subject: This year, we're trimming the tree with...

The second comes from Barney's New York. SICK website, no matter your feelings toward Lady Gaga.  
      Date: November 9, 2011
      Subject: GAGA'S WORKSHOP: Don't miss out on today's limited-edition Gaga Goodie!

The third comes from Saks Fifth Avenue. The freeze frame movement is really simple but effective. It's lovely.
      Date: November 10, 2011
      Subject: New! Our Exclusive Alice and Olivia Event

adios,
jayteewo.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Happy.


I've been feeling quite happy and content lately. You guys never told me what I was missing- it's perty great. The last few days I've spent in my hometown with my family. My older sissy is visiting and it's great to spend time with her ass. Like my younger sister, she cracks me the hell up. It's good to laugh and so rejuvenating to have family time, especially if you actually like your family.. which I do. My mom got a new puppy pug named Gretel Belle, who, although adorable, is a terror. 



Thanksgiving was full of both thanks and giving. And eating. Oh! the eating. If you were to ask me if I ate pumpkin pie and bacon for breakfast this morning, I'd deny it. But yes, most mornings I do "wake & bacon" when I'm home, as my younger sister says (clever). Why is it that my mom's bacon tastes better than what I make at home? She knows things.

My Milo Sun took his first adventure road trip with me this time so I didn't have to worry about him at home lonely, probably annihilating the whole joint. So far he's been good and he only got mauled by another cat once. Most of the time his sweet little self hides under the covers in the room I'm staying in. At this point I think he just likes it under there. Personally, I'd like to spend most of my time hiding under the covers, too. Good idea.



Today I went to the farmers' market with big sister and Momma. After moseying around downtown, we came home with asparagus, tomatoes and an enormous boule of sourdough. I have two painting ideas in my head that I really need to get out but it seems like I never have the time, or more aptly put, the focus. I intend to get it together (how many times have I said that?) and start posting regularly again. The last thing I want to do is disappoint all of my two fans (and that's just an arbitrary number. I'm not even sure who those two would be. Dammit.) Until then, eat some pie and bust out the Christmas movies. That shit is rapidly approaching.


best,
jayteewo.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Things.


1. A straw is a lazy's man's drinking tool. How lazy must you be?

2. Baby talk is so annoying unless you're the one doing it. Then it's totally cool.

3. All normal processes in life take me about ten times longer.

4. Who do you call if you win the lottery?

5. If a person's eyes changed color, they'd look totally different.

6. Good things come in threes.


sincerely,
jayteewo.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

6 Questions.


1. Who are these people who watch (I hardly want to credit it on my blog) 'Dancing with the Stars'? It looks like the stupidest show ever. I don't want to watch a professional dancer drag fat he-shes across a dance floor and then have theatrical heads say shit I don't care about.

2. Why don't miniature cats exist if miniature dogs do? This is just science, guys.

3. Do you ever really know a person?

4. Why do we have to work 8 (technically like 10 if we include commute and time for lunch that I have to spend away from home, not to mention getting ready) hours a day? Seems like a really large portion of our lives.

5. Like, I get how babies are made but, how are babies made?

6. How does a beard know not to take over your whole face?


best wishes,
jayteewo.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

An exposé on cuteness.

I love the effect cuteness has on me. Only recently did I pinpoint it. Cuteness and love combined are like, a super winning combination. I'm not one to be particularly susceptible to cuteness but when I am it is BIG. Lately, for me, the object of cuteness is my new kitty, Milo. He's the sweetest. He's cuddly and lovey and I feel so lucky when he sleeps all snugged up on me. This has gotten me thinking about cuteness as a subject matter. What is it? Why is it? How does it occur? When? Where?!
teeny baby teefers!

The answers to these questions vary but when cuteness surfaces, more often than not it's indisputable and unanimous. An audible, "awww" is heard. Frequently it's an object that is exaggerated or ridiculous in some way. Very small, very furry, very shy, very flat face. The object is wearing something silly or off kilter. Something surprising. Example: Milo hugs. When he stretches, he hugs. Maybe you didn't hear me: HE HUGS. Oh. My. God. It's a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e (see above).

Cute Overload is a website dedicated solely to cuteness and it is well.. cute (wow I really reached my limit for the month on this word). Usually it features animals, that's easy. Do you have a cold heart?! Of course that is cute. Kids are cute (sometimes.. ok, rarely). Hey, I guess it's living things more often than not.

I'm bored with this article. I'm gonna level with you: not sure where I was going this. You're welcome for pictures of my Milo Sun.


lata,
jayteewo.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

That pod thingy.

Remember that pod thingy I wrote about?


Well, I figured out what it is! It is a seed pod from a Magnolia Tree! I found a tree in my neighborhood. Actually there are like a million. They become larger and look kinda like brains, and then they morph into lovely, fragrant flowers! Science is fun. (lie) I took these photos months ago but forgot about them, oops. 


What the hell is this alien thing? Kinda grotesque to be the beginning stages of such a beautiful and perfumed flower.


best,
jayteewo.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Movie: Sex and the Single Girl.

This is a pretty sweet movie. Prett-y scandalous in its day. The title alone was said to fill the seats in the theater when it came out. Starring Natalie Wood, Tony Curtis, Lauren Bacall and Henry Fonda (amazing cast), Sex and the Single Girl (1964) is the story of a tabloid-writing dude who finds himself involved with a psychologist that has been smeared in his magazine in the for her work in sexology and relationships. First of all, this movie deals with being comfortable as a single woman and feminism in its infant stages.


I have to admit, I expected to dislike this film but it grew on me. The last third of the movie really brought it home. I feel like I'm always seeing pictures of Tony Curtis late in life with white hair and big lips. Turns out he always looked like that. Natalie Wood is perfectly cute in the film and Lauren Bacall, always sarcastic, was perfectly humorous as a jealous wife in a struggling marriage. Check it out if not only for the bold subject matter that it was back in the day.


adieu,
jayteewo.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

So excited about this book!


Have you heard of White Girl Problems (I mean, besides the ones I tell you about here)? It's this chick who has a Twitter (@whitegrlproblem) and tweets about hilarious superfluous situations that only the most decadent woman would find herself in. She's totally superficial, bitchy, and selfish. In a good way. Beginning only in 2010, she's skyrocketed to almost half a million followers. Turns out she's releasing her first book in January (girlfriend moves fast)! White Girl Problems: A Novel by Babe Walker. Should be very amusing and you know how much I like to be amused. Last week she tweeted the following:

 
You can read the d-bag's article here. It's funny. She also has a blog where presently you can read a chapter of her book! Love it.


best,
jayteewo.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Halloween fun.



My birthday is around Halloween so growing up I really like that holiday the most. Birthday parties were more often than not Halloween-themed. It was (IS) awesome. Still into it. That's RIGHT! Would I turn my nose up at purple swirled Publix cupcakes with black cats on them circa '93 (standing in my driveway before school for a photo sesh wearing my new birthday coolots and sporting bangs that started halfway back my head)? NO.

Never fear, this tradition will continue into year 26. Oh my god, I am getting old. Now I'm going to have to drown my sorrows in sweet tea and candy corn. This year I'm going to have some girlfriends over for some light costumes, fare, and cocktails (mostly cocktails). Do I intend to include witch's brew? Why, yes, I do. Always have. Will I dress up as probably a cat or witch? Yes, but I haven't decided which (witch! ha). Will I play Hocus Pocus and Romeo & Juliet with Leo and Claire in the background all night? Yes. Hell yes I will.

As the adult woman that I am, I've made a project of finding some cute ways to participate in a costume party without getting carried away (and having an anxiety attack from all of the people staring at me while I'm at it).

This fantastical hand painted leather mask..
..paired with these fingerless paw gloves would make a sweet fox costume. 

This scraggly witch hat..
..and these striped tights would make a nice witch. I don't know why I always think witches must wear striped hosiery. I might use a vaccuum as my transportation à la Mary Sanderson.
That's all for now!


trick,
jayteewo.

Missing out.

Top 5 things I miss now that I have a normal schedule.
  1. Milo. duh.
  2. blog reading.
  3. something I can't say online.
  4. being generally lazy.
  5. going to bed whenever I want (I hate going to bed early almost as much as I HATE getting up early).

I mostly feel bad for little Milo Sun. Since our love affair began, he's had all of my time. He's only five months old and we've been roommates for one, all of which we spent together. There was music. There was laughter. There were kisses. Oh, the kisses! So So many. Meow! I love him and he misses me when I leave him for 10 hours a day. Who can blame him for trying to scratch every square inch of my body?! He's just being a kitten, after all. And that whole 'waking me up at 5am EVERYday including the weekend' thing is totally endearing..

I'm still trying to get into a routine as far as blogging and self-care goes. I seriously need to get with it. Meal-planning would be an excellent idea, if I could only get motivated.


I miss my blog. I miss my free time. I miss my Milo Sun. So are the travesties of a 9-5 (830-530, who are these lucky 9-5 people?). Adjusting to a new routine after having a largely unstructured schedule for a while, can be grueling (can be, always is). Personally, I'm not into giving up my whole life to make ends meet (barely barely). It seems that the only enjoyable way of sacrificing all of your time is to be working toward a goal that is your own, but I guess I've always known that. "How do you plan to do that?" you are probably asking me in your mind. I'd answer that I don't quite know yet and I wish the frickin' idea would just come to me already, cuz I'm getting impatient over here. 


buenas noches,
jayteewo.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Obsessed.


Fringe Necklace by Angie Johnson of norwegianwood
Fab, this color combo especially.


yours (not really),
jayteewo.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Birthday Wishlist.

Yes, I'm doing this. With the big 2-6 rapidly approaching (wah), I find myself wanting to go to one of two extremes: childhood or a more sophisticated version of the big girl I am. This sucks so I'm just gonna start talking about things the birthday girl wants.*

I want some pricey dishware. It's by no means within my means. If you know me (you don't) you know I like color. I'm the kind of person who doesn't really worry about coordinating her possessions in any way but more trusts that it will "work" together. Everything is colorful. EVERYthing has a pattern. EveryTHING is a standout item. But, in the effort to step it up in the "more sophisticated version of  the big girl I am" category, I am going white. Whaaa, white? What's happening? That's right: white. I don't know if it's the passing of our leader, Mr. Steve Jobs, or the desire for maybe something to look slightly less random.. but I want white dishware. My mother has a combination of these dishes in warm tones. Very home-y. Very high quality.


I like it because the color is white but the shapes are relaxed and the glaze is less around the rims so you can see through to the terracotta underneath. I think food would look beautiful on them. Look, I don't want to be greedy so let's start with four each of dinner plates, salad plates, cereal bowls, and condiment bowls. 



This fabulous ring and my philosophy on life.



I've had a hankering for jade, bug motifs, and brooches. All in one



This Lulu Frost for JCrew bangle is retro and chic. It goes with everything!



These shoes haven't left my wishlist. I need them.



Last but certainly not least.

*subject to personal interpretation or if you see something awesome that you know I'd totally want..


best,
jayteewo.