Holy Hammacher.

Tucked between Lexington and Third Avenues on 57th Street in New York City is a very awesome funland called Hammacher Schlemmer. Now, when you say "Hammacher Schlemmer" I feel it's important you put your back into it, if you know what I mean. Say that with purpose (and a German accent if at all possible). It is a wonderful, all-inclusive retail environment where you'll find the best of everything and the coolest doo-dads. Things you totally need but had no idea.

present picks from HS:

source.

"The Million Germ Eliminating Travel Toothbrush Sanitizer"
Every time you return to your newly cleaned hotel room and realize you left your toothbrush out. You will never really know what the maids did with it while you were out shopping. The horror.
This is for that.

source.

"The Wind Defying Packable Umbrella"
Hands down the best umbrella ever; I need a second. When I moved to New York I was quickly impressed with the need for a sturdy umbrella or mine would constantly end up on the street corner every time it rained, with the other sad umbrella skeletons. I straight up used this thing as a shield at times and it withstood the challenge. Plus, it's pretty solid so when it's packed up I'm quite sure you could use it as a beating mechanism, so to speak.

source.

"The Jeweler's Steam Cleaner"
My jewelry looks awful and ruddy because I can never figure out a permanent cleaning solution (so so sad). So I just want to cut to the chase on this deal. What I know works is a steamer, because I'd always prefer to have my stuff cleaned at an actual Jewelry store. Though I'm sure this will end in many steam burns, having access to a steamer at all times would be very convenient. I can't handle another disappointment in this department so I hope it's awesome.

You never know what you'll find at your neighborhood Hammacher Schlemmer. Actually there's only one location plus the online store. It's a bit of an institution, having been in business since 1848; basically you should go there or at least play on the website. It's fun.


bye,
jayteewo.

I want Wednesday.

Dammit, I want so many things every day of the week. Craaaap. Right now this Deux Lux weekend bag is at the top of my list. Look how pretty the sequined base is! I love it. I think I need the black one because I like that it is basic in the sense that it is a neutral but has a dash of fancy to it with the sequins on the bottom portion. Shit, why the hell not? I wonder what the inside looks like. I would need a nice little getaway to use this, which of course, would hold only my shoes.

Speaking of, how about these kitten heel boots by Kickers? I'm not familiar with the brand but I think I'm into it. They're super cute, possibly to the point of unattractive. But don't worry, they circle back around to cute. Just my style.

later,

jayteewo.

Red lipstick.

Ok. I will go OFF about red lipstick, or lipstick in general. Having realized I was woman enough to rock lipstick of any hue, I've found I automatically feel prettier wearing lipstick. Funny thing is, when I do wear lipstick I wear little else on the rest of my face and I still feel pretty. Lots of black mascara, an evened out complexion and a subtle pop of color on the apples of your cheeks and, boom. Nicely groomed and defined eyebrows sure as hell don't hurt either, baby.

The shade above is MAC Ruby Woo matte lipstick combined with a limited edish, thus no longer sold, called "Red She Said." "Ruby Woo," a bright red matte, is a solid staple to have in your collection. 

Here is a link to an article with tips on wearing red lipstick. I agree on all but the one towards the bottom about lip liner: Real Simple, you have this wrong: You actually cannot wear a nude liner under red, I don't give a shit how close to your natural lip color it is. Your natural lip color doesn't mix with the red, you idiots. AND I don't agree that you simply must have matching liner and lipstick. I frequently wear my Red lipliner beneath my Vegas Volt lipstick (both by MAC). It looks super pretty you just have to be sure to blend up to the edge of your lips so as to not look like a Boriqua. Unless you're into that. This is also a nice article from Allure, plus one from Elle on shades every gal should own. 

Here are a couple beautyful ladies looking fabuloso in red.

source. 

source.

I should note that, though I avoid using photos with this mug in it, it's really the only way to illustrate lipstick.. just so you know. Maquillaje is a great word.. also, just so you know. 

Some things to remember:

• Red is powerful. 
• Lipstick is a clever way to brighten up your face, if well executed. 
• It is important to line and fill in your lips with the liner and layer the lipstick on top of that if you actually want the color to stay throughout the day.
• reapply and blot. 
• don't be afraid to take it all off mid-day and start over, sometimes you just need to do that. This shit isn't magic.
• Do not wear nude liner under red, regardless of it's similarity to your natural lip color. 
• You can mix colors of liner and lipstick, if not only to expand your color options. Just be sure to blend up to the edge of your lips- avoiding the Boriqua look (again, unless that's your end goal).
• Lipstick is a big statement - keep the rest of your features in supporting roles so the lipstick can do its job.
• lots of black mascara, sans shadow
• an evened out complexion 
• a subtle pop of color on the apples of your cheeks 
• + nicely groomed/defined eyebrows. 
• Maquillaje is the Spanish word for make up (lapiz de labios is lipstick).
• Sorry about my face. 

see ya bitches, 

jayteewo. 

Halloween fun.

My birthday is around Halloween so growing up I really like that holiday the most. Birthday parties were more often than not Halloween-themed. It was (IS) awesome. Still into it. That's RIGHT! Would I turn my nose up at purple swirled Publix cupcakes with black cats on them circa '93 (standing in my driveway before school for a photo sesh wearing my new birthday coolots and sporting bangs that started halfway back my head)? NO.

Never fear, this tradition will continue into year 26. Oh my god, I am getting old. Now I'm going to have to drown my sorrows in sweet tea and candy corn. This year I'm going to have some girlfriends over for some light costumes, fare, and cocktails (mostly cocktails). Do I intend to include witch's brew? Why, yes, I do. Always have. Will I dress up as probably a cat or witch? Yes, but I haven't decided which (witch! ha). Will I play Hocus Pocus and Romeo & Juliet with Leo and Claire in the background all night? Yes. Hell yes I will.

As the adult woman that I am, I've made a project of finding some cute ways to participate in a costume party without getting carried away (and having an anxiety attack from all of the people staring at me while I'm at it).

This fantastical hand painted leather mask..

..paired with these fingerless paw gloves would make a sweet fox costume. 

This scraggly witch hat..

..and these striped tights would make a nice witch. I don't know why I always think witches must wear striped hosiery. I might use a vaccuum as my transportation à la Mary Sanderson.

That's all for now!


trick,
jayteewo.

Must Own: entry one.

I've been thinking about compiling a Jayteewo's "Must Own" Product List, but I don't want to plan anymore so I'm just gonna get it poppin. I might change the format as I go. It will contain but is not limited to general brand loyalty, justifications, explanations, suggestions, opinions..
Here we go:

Clarisonic Skin Cleansing System. There are a few versions but frankly, I am a new owner of the MIA and it is more than satisfactory. You don't really need more than that. Plus it comes in a bunch of cute colors now that you can personalize if you buy on their website. It really does make a difference with your skin. Not having a medical degree, I am still unsure if my skin is better or if it just feels better. But it does feel better and you can plainly see all of the makeup it got off. And it makes you feel like you're being proactive about skin care! so that's an additional benefit. Mine is yellow :) If I had to do it over I'd got with sapphire blue. 

The following are two I've mentioned before, but they deserve to be reorganized into this grouping because they really are the BEST.

Shu Umera Eyelash Curler. You can only buy them online now but they are worth it. Eyelashes are nothing without a curl, baby. Dispute it if you want to but you can't deny the affect a curled lash has on someone's face.

Tweezerman Slant Tweezers are the most excellent and sharpest tweezers in the land and they tweeze those brows and God knows what else like, whoa. Anything else is a waste of time. Why seek past perfect? I am really wanting this leopard pair!

regards, 

jayteewo.

I want Wednesday.

I've found them. The perfect pair of black cat's eye sunglasses. But they are riiicch so I suspect I'll be wanting them for a while since I didn't win the Powerball last week. Son of a bitch. Tom Ford, why do you have to be so expensive and so sexual?! I want 'em. Not just bad, but real bad. Anyway. Here they are. I would obviously look so cute in them. And I know I'm a pushover, but I'm also open to them in Havana Tortoiseshell. Accepting donations because I'm sure the universe wants me to have them either way. K, thanks. Damn, I want them.

regards,

jayteewo.

Obsessed.

You guys. I love my iPhone and I know I'm not alone on that but what I see too much of is people using cheap, shitty cases to "protect" their costly Apple expenditure. Whyyy? I have found that InCase makes the very best (and prettiest) Apple protective products. The catch, actually there are three: 1) one can never find the best of their product line anywhere but their damn website, 2) the products themselves are a little pricey, 3) they like to piss me off by charging too much shipping. (Websites that charge astronomical shipping amounts irritate the shit out of me because you know it doesn't cost them that much. If they must be that greedy with their profit margin, their rep would be much better if they tacked that amount onto the unit price and gave free shipping. It's a PR thing, you idiots.) HOWEVER, I will tell you that in spite of the three previously mentioned cons, the pros still are in the lead in that the products are just far superior to anything else on the market- I'm not even going to say "in my opinion."

My newest iPhone case (my fourth), and I do own their products for my Macbook as well, is the Incase Crystal Slider case in silver. It's so glittery! I love it. It's beautiful in purple, too. The last case I bought was in November therefore it lasted me nine months. Even after that period of time my gold bar case (that's what it looks like) still looks cute, the pink from underneath just started to show through. I'll keep it as a backup. If we do a little calculation here, this case cost me $45.89 after tax and shipping (I know) and it lasted nine months, that's ~$5/ month. That ain't bad, ya'll. You're protecting a several hundred dollar investment after all. And I swear, I drop that bitch all the time and no broken iPhone yet, baby. Worth it. See? (Ooo, I just realized this is kind of boring.)


see ya,
jayteewo.